MY journey to becoming an online presence is nothing short of
accidental. After getting fired from my job at a well-known sports
conglomerate, I felt more lost than ever. That’s when Tiktok came into
my life and my online persona was born.
Within Tiktok, there are some influencers who have built entire communities around misogyny and sexism, says the writer.
– AFP
Today I have nearly eight million followers on Tiktok. My large
following has allowed me to become a full-time content creator. However,
my niche is not popular among influencers. And that’s because my niche
is roasting misogynistic men on social media.
Within Tiktok, there are influencers who have built entire communities
around misogyny and sexism. These communities are centred on the
degradation of women and minority groups. These videos cover many
topics: women being unworthy if they’ve had multiple sexual partners, if
they’re fat, if they don’t work to keep their man, if they don’t accept
jokes about domestic abuse. Some straight up promote sexual assault
against women.
Existing in the social media space can be exhausting, whether you’re a
consumer or a creator. But when I realised how much vitriol existed on
this platform, I was drawn to it. I could not believe that men like this
not only existed in the same world I did, but felt so confident spewing
their hatred of women. The audacity shocked me, but simultaneously lit
something within me.
The fire that drove me to fight on Tiktok was akin to what I felt
defending my sister from being bullied in school. Or for my friends when
they were sexually harassed in college. The rage I felt was all too
familiar and I was determined to act on it. That’s what inspired my
first video. It wasn’t just taking on these terrible bigoted men, but
rather the reality that women are subjected to violence in many
different forms, everywhere, every day.
The violence and abuse that misogyny and patriarchy have inflicted on so
many different marginalised groups are what unite my community of
followers. Conversely, the hatred projected onto me by these kinds of
bigots – primarily cisgender heterosexual white men – is also what
unites them.
I’m often asked in the Tiktok comments, “Why don’t you try educating
them?” Or “How are you going to respond to hate, with more hate?” Well,
to that I say, because it works. Realistically, there’s nothing I could
say to an outright bigot that would help them see the humanity in people
who do not have the same life experiences as they do. But that isn’t my
goal. My goal is to get them to be quiet and to delete their presence
from social media. There is never an apology, a retraction or a change
of heart – only silence. I aim to silence them, like they have silenced
us for thousands of years.
Far too often, marginalised people are held to an impossibly high
standard, in the real world and on social media. No matter how deep the
offense, no matter how harmwe ful the rhetoric, are conexpected stantly
to take the high road. These offendentitled ers are to a mature and
educational response to their abuse, but marginalised folks aren’t
entitled to simexist ply without critique.
Any power or strength we draw from standing up for ourof selves is
stripped us the minute a bigot attacks, unprovoked – especially if it is
all under the guise of a “joke.” Not surprisingly, these men are not
fond of the treatment they feel so comfortable weaponising against
others. It’s funny to see how quickly they develop empathy for their
fellow misogynists when they see them getting treated the way they treat
others.
The only fear I have when it comes to my platform is that I may never be
out of a job. It feels as though I’m standing in a boat with holes, and
no matter how often I scoop water out, more pours in. Making this kind
of content is arduous, emotionally taxing and downright terrifying at
times.
But when it seems like it’s too much to bear, I think about the stories
I’ve heard from people who follow me. I think about the woman in Mexico
who told me she wore a bathing suit for the first time because my
content gave her the courage to. I think about the trans woman who told
me my battles against bigots have kept her on this Earth longer than she
planned to be.
I desperately hold on to accounts like this, when I feel I can’t keep doing this. Because it’s not about me, it’s about them.
