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Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts

Sunday, 21 April 2024

A cobbler with a big heart: Give, you shall receive

 Heart of gold: Bohari, who plies his trade at Eastmoore Commercial Centre, is always ready to lend a helping hand to those in need. — ZULAZHAR SHEBLEE/The Star

Aw: He didn’t hesitate to help us even though we were strangers

KUCHING: Seven years ago, cobbler Bohari Ariffin lent a helping hand to Aw Joo Lee and her wheelchair-bound mother even though they were strangers to him.

Last month, Bohari and Aw reconnected in a touching encounter that subsequently brought well-deserved attention to the cobbler’s kindness.

That day in 2017, Bohari was mending shoes at his usual spot at the five-foot way of Eastmoore Commercial Centre here when he saw Aw with her mother, who was an amputee.

“They wanted to go up the stairs, but her mother was unable to do so. I felt sorry for them, so I approached them and helped to carry her mother up the stairs.

“I did not think of anything, I just carried her up and then carried her back down again, that was all,” Bohari told The Star when met at Eastmoore.

What motivated Bohari to help Aw and her mother was his spirit of humanity.

“Our humanity causes us to sympathise with others. We are all fellow human beings.

“Whatever religion or race we may be, we can help others because it’s for the good of everyone. I didn’t expect anything in return, I just sincerely wanted to help them,” he said.

For Aw, Bohari’s kindness was particularly meaningful as it came at a difficult time for her family.

“At that time, I was there with my mum and my father, who were both in their 80s. I was the only able-bodied person bringing my parents to meet somebody urgently.

“When we got to the building, I was very frustrated because there was a steep flight of stairs and no lift,” she recalled.

“Suddenly this man came up to me. He didn’t say much, but I understood immediately that he was going to help.

“My mum had only one leg, she wasn’t a small woman and she was quite heavy. But Bohari just lifted her and took her up the stairs while I carried the wheelchair.

“When we came down, I said thank you, but we were all pretty distracted by our family issues and left quickly.”

Aw, who is from Kuching but has been living in Singapore for many years, never forgot Bohari and would think about him every time she came back to visit relatives.

On her last trip here at the end of March, he was still on her mind and a friend encouraged her to try looking for him.

“When someone, especially a stranger, helps you at a difficult time in your life, you can never forget.

“It really leaves an indelible mark in your heart.

“Even though I had said thank you, I wanted to know more about that kind stranger and thank him properly,” Aw said.

So she went to Eastmoore and was very happy to find Bohari still there. And Bohari also remembered helping her mother.

“I was really emotional when I saw him again and tears sprang to my eyes.

“When I asked why he had helped us, he said ‘Kita orang sama manusia’ (We are all fellow humans).

“Bohari is really the hero we all need in our lives,” Aw said.

She subsequently wrote about Bohari’s kindness on the Sarawak Public Feedback Facebook page and encouraged people to seek his services.

“I wanted to help him in his business as well, so that’s why I decided to write a simple post about him.

“Being a cobbler is not an easy job, yet for such a humble profession he has a big heart.

“I hope that after this he will be blessed in many other ways and have more supporters,” she said.

Bohari was also moved by his recent meeting with Aw and the Facebook post she wrote.

“When she came to meet me, I shed a few tears myself. She remembered my small good deed, but I would like to thank her too because she thought about it even though it happened so long ago, and she was willing to look for me,” he said.

With the Facebook post, Bohari hoped that Malaysians would become more aware about helping others.

“I hope everyone will show sympathy to others in need. Don’t think that you are better than other people but help where you can,” he said, adding that he had also helped other people who came his way.

“It doesn’t matter who they are. I may not have much, but I will help anyone in need even if they don’t ask.”

Heartwarming tales such as this are promoted and encouraged by the “Maaf Zahir Batin Hari Hari” campaign (#MZB365), which was launched on April 6. The campaign stands strong with support from major media organisations and civil society organisations (CSOs).

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Giving is receiving

It takes a village: The generous act of Ladang Bikam villagers, who recently helped some Hari Raya revellers to beat the balik kampung jam with a shortcut through the plantation (below), touched the hearts of social media users. — Sinar Harian

FEW stories warm the heart quite like our plural society coming together for the greater good.

Usually, these acts of kindness go unnoticed and unreported because they’re expected. But truth be told, we know this is a commodity.

And as with true generosity, these good folks don’t do it for publicity.

It was a week ago when the media reported on a group of Chinese villagers answering the call of travellers using back roads to avoid the nationwide snarl following the end of the Hari Raya holidays.

Commuter Zairul Annuar Zain, relying on Google Maps, thought his smartphone would solve his problem by getting off the highway while heading south. Unfortunately, he found himself on an isolated path in Ladang Bikam, Perak, instead.

Several cars explored the same off-the-beaten-track route, but the journey soon became bumpier because of the bad, hilly road conditions.

Enter a group of 15 Chinese men who approached the stranded vehicles and told the passengers to wait while they set to work.

Armed with a backhoe to excavate and level the road, they managed to ensure the path was flat enough for the vehicles to pass through within 15 minutes.

— Video Screengrab from Zairul Annuar’s FB

“They could have chosen to sleep. Instead, they were willing to take the trouble to help us continue our journey there that night,” said Zairul, who recorded a video of the helpful villagers.

We’re indebted to Zairul for sharing the incident – which went viral – on his Facebook. It’s perfect timing because the nation desperately needs an endearing story, and in the month of Syawal with the nation still celebrating Hari Raya, no less.

Then, there was another wonderful video of a young Chinese man embracing his adopted Malay mother on Hari Raya.

Despite looking very different from the rest of the brood, and knowing he was adopted, the emotional man expressed his gratitude to his mum for raising him and treating him like she did his siblings.

In the last month, Malaysia has been gripped by disconcerting reports, a situation exacerbated by agitating and provoking politicians and netizens. Their insensitive comments on social media have certainly broken our hearts.

That said, there are many unsung heroes in Malaysia, too. These are the people who dedicate their lives to helping their countrymen without deliberating one’s skin colour or religion, and they ask for nothing in return.

Star Media Group and Gamuda Bhd have worked together for nearly 10 years to recognise and reward the kindness with the Star Golden Hearts Award. Our task gets harder with greater competition and nominees becoming more impressive every year. The nominations are submitted to the judges and as chief judge, Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye, says Malaysia is never short of unsung heroes.

Like when insurance agent Abdul Muhsi Ramlan saw teenager Teh Rui Yuan lying motionless next to his motorbike after an accident and instinctively stopped to help.

He acted fast and asked onlookers to help him load the 17-year-old boy into his car before rushing to the hospital. There, he admitted the boy and even extended himself by trying to get in touch with the teenager’s parents through social media.

Teh eventually recovered and visited Abdul Muhsi with his family after that year’s Hari Raya with a hamper in hand, not only to register their gratitude but mark the festive occasion as well.

“When I saw his face, I just wanted to save him,” said Abdul Muhsi when recalling the accident, revealing that they are still in touch to this day.



Of course, there’s also the heart melting story of one of 2016’s Star Golden Hearts Award winner Mohd Yusuf Rohani caring for diabetic friend R. Doraisamy for four decades.

They are neither related nor from the same cultural background, but none of that matters to them.

The pair met in Ladang Selabak, Perak, when Mohd Yusuf was a Standard Three student and Doraisamy a 28-year-old odd job worker with failing eyesight. Although 19 years separate them, a friendship was forged in which Mohd Yusuf has dedicated himself to helping his friend after learning of his health issues.

Over the years, Doraisamy not only lost his sight, but the lower half of both limbs, too, due to his illness.

“It may be difficult, but I don’t see it as a burden at all because he can’t see, and he has no legs. Who would take care of him if I’m not around to do it?” argues Mohd Yusuf.

His care of Doraisamy runs the gamut of financial aid to cleaning the older friend after his bathroom runs. They may both struggle to make ends meet, but hardship has fused them together for life. From his primary school days through to his marriage and birth of six daughters, Mohd Yusuf has remained resolute in helping his friend, who lives with his younger sister and her husband.

Friendships like these may seem strange, but compassion and kindness cut across all boundaries. After all, it’s the giving that makes us what we are.

Having been involved in the selection process for Golden Hearts before, I can vouch that most Malaysians are compassionate.

From a Chinese-speaking Malay fireman who used his linguistic skills to coax a woman from jumping off her flat, to nurses, doctors and helpers who risked their lives to care for Malaysians during the Covid-19 pandemic, there are many such stories.

There are also groups of youngsters who sacrifice their Saturday nights to distribute food to the homeless in Kuala Lumpur. No one is ignored and no questions are asked either.

As Lee said, the fact that they have been nominated by so many Malaysians vividly attests to the recognition of their good work.

Then, there are caregivers who voluntarily work to help the elderly and disabled, too.

These are tedious jobs which require immeasurable patience and dedication, and again, these volunteers have never asked for coverage to bask in social media glory.

Some are mere individuals while others belong to non-governmental organisations with greater manpower, but the bottom line is, they’ve positively impacted all of us in Malaysia through their commitment.

Let’s be honest, many of us have grown tired and weary, and even given up on our country, going as far as to encourage overseas based friends and family to remain there for a brighter future.

However, the stories above serve to remind us that Malaysia is truly unified, barring egotistical and selfish politicians whose vocabulary barely extends beyond the word boycott.

In truth, it’s us who should turn away from them. Although race and religion routinely take the rap, the world is ultimately divided into good and bad people.

The “Maaf Zahir Batin Hari Hari” campaign (#MZB365), launched on April 6, is also promoting heartwarming tales of unity in Malaysia. The campaign stands strong with support from major media corporations and civil society organisations. Check out the stories on TheStar.com.my.

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Friday, 8 May 2015

Singapore is Asia's best place to be mum, peoples back to being courteous & gracious

 
A class for mothers carrying babies here. Singapore was ranked ahead of the next-best Asian countries South Korea and Japan in the latest Mothers' Index. This rates countries based on five indicators relating to maternal health, children's well-being, education, income levels and the political status of women. -- ST PHOTO: KUA CHEE SIONG

Singapore is the best country in Asia to be a mother.

The Republic came out tops in the region in an annual index released by international aid agency Save the Children and was also ranked 14th worldwide, well ahead of the next-best Asian countries South Korea and Japan in 30th and 32nd spots.

Singapore moved up from 15th spot worldwide last year but short of its 2002 best of 13th.

Norway topped the international chart, beating last year's winner Finland, while the United States was 33rd.

The 16th annual Mothers' Index, released on Monday, rates 179 countries based on five indicators relating to maternal health, children's well-being, education, income levels and the political status of women.

Singaporean women have a one in 13,900 risk of dying in childbirth while the infant mortality rate here is 2.8 deaths per 1,000 live births.

Gross national income per capita is US$54,040 (S$72,000). For these three measures, Singapore was placed among the top 10 countries globally.

But its ranking was pulled down by weaker performance in the educational and political arenas.

Children are expected to complete about 15.4 years of formal schooling here and a quarter of seats in the government are held by women.

In comparison, Norway recorded a national income of US$102,610. Political participation of its women is close to 40 per cent and children are expected to finish 17.5 years of school.

The US' poor showing is partly due to its high risk for maternal death - one in 1,800, the worst level in any developed country.

Ms Sylvia Choo, director of the National Trades Union Congress (NTUC) Women's Development Secretariat, said Singapore has done well because of its strong investment in education and in ensuring that medical care remains accessible.

Since 2000, Singapore has cut its risk of maternal death by over 75 per cent, from one in 3,500 to one in 13,900.

Other experts say the findings, while commendable, should not be a reason for complacency.

They pointed out that the index tracks only parameters such as wealth, education and healthcare and does not take into account other pertinent issues specific to developed economies.

"It does not address the parent-friendliness of workplace policies, culture and practice," said Ms Jolene Tan from the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware). "Some countries ranked lower on the index such as the United Kingdom and Ireland have much more generous parental leave than Singapore.

"It also doesn't consider security of employment. A mother who returns from maternity leave to find her position terminated has little recourse in Singapore, but she can invoke legal protection such as unfair dismissal claims in jurisdictions such as Canada, the UK and Ireland - all ranked less highly in this report."

Save the Children's chief executive Carolyn Miles said the data confirmed that a country's economic wealth is not the sole factor leading to maternal happiness, but also that policies must be put in place to support mothers.

In the case of Norway, "they do have wealth, but they also invest that wealth in things like mothers and children as a very high priority", said Ms Miles.

Ms Yeo Miu Ean, president of Women Empowered for Work and Mothering, said the fertility rate here remains low because some women want to avoid the dilemma of having to choose between work and children.

"They do not want to give their children the time or energy that is left over from work," she said.

National University of Singapore sociologist Tan Ern Ser agreed.

"Compared with the Nordic countries, we still need to catch up on gender inequality in terms of shared childcare responsibilities and work-life balance."

By Janice Tai The Straits Times/Asia News Network, jantai@sph.com.sg

Singaporeans back to being courteous, survey shows

AFTER two years in which it seemed Singapore was becoming a less gracious country, one social barometer suggests it is back on its best behaviour.


The Singapore Kindness Move­ment (SKM), which has been releasing the annual Graciousness Index since 2008, revealed yesterday that the country scored 61 out of 100 this year, matching the highs it hit in 2010 and 2012.

It is a big jump from last year’s score of 55 and the record low of 53 in 2013.

The index measures “behaviour consistent with social standards and expectations based on the time, place and people around” and polled 1,850 people, including foreigners, between last December and February.

SKM general secretary Dr William Wan said: “If we as a nation continue this positive trend, kindness and graciousness can become part of our norms and national identity.”

He added that more stories of kindness were being reported on social media, while mainstream media had been highlighting disaster relief efforts.

Scores for people’s experience and perception of graciousness told different stories in the index.

They were asked if they had received, done or witnessed “a random act of kindness” in the six months before they were polled.

Scores in this component fell but were offset by improvements in the perception ratings, with respondents rating themselves and others higher when it came to being considerate, courteous and showing appreciation.

About 44% polled felt Singapore had become more gracious, up from 28% last year.

Asked who was responsible for making Singapore a gracious place to live in, more than seven in 10 respondents pointed to the Government, while six in 10 said themselves.

Dr Wan said the Education Ministry had an important role in fostering character development.

“I’d like to see 80% or 90% of people saying ‘kindness can start with me’,” he said. “We must take ownership.”



The SKM also studied attitudes towards neighbourliness and parenting.

Over 40% wanted more neighbourliness in their communities but among this group, fear and awkwardness were cited as stumbling blocks.

Nearly six in 10 respondents, including non-parents, felt parents did not lead by example when it came to being gracious.

Senior marketing manager Joyce Teng, 53, agreed that it was important for parents to be good role models.

Her daughter Emily founded Blessings in a Bag, which sends donated clothes and school supplies to the needy in Asia.

Teng said: “Instilling the qualities of kindness and giving is our responsibility as parents. I’m proud to see that Emily is now leading by example.” — The Straits Times / Asia News Network

How can Singapore improve its graciousness? Chief of Singapore Kindness Movement has some tips
By Priscilla Goy, The Straits Times, 6 May 2015

Singapore scored 61 out of 100 in the latest Graciousness Index released on Tuesday. The Straits Times asked Dr William Wan, general secretary of the Singapore Kindness Movement what areas Singaporeans can improve in.

Public debate - It appears to me that we have not learned to engage each other in real constructive debate. In choosing our sides of an argument, we neglect to listen and seem unable to consider viewpoints that run contrary to our own, and the next inevitability follows: name-calling, abusive statements, or worse. And to say the least, that is most ungracious! This behaviour is also not unique to the online space, but can also spill over into everyday life.

Road users - Other than giving up seats on public transport which has improved every year, every other behaviour related to transport or road usage falls below 6. Our partners like the Land Transport Authority and the public transport organisations have now taken the lead in continuing to encourage more improvement in public transport behaviour, and we have gladly taken a supportive back seat.

Our plans going forward include seeking out partnerships with bodies or associations dealing with private road users such as motorists, cyclists, pedestrians.

Cleanliness/environment - We should treat our shared public spaces (our nation!) in the same way we treat our own homes. It's not just about litter, it can even be as basic as the unhygienic scraps we tend to leave behind at hawker centre tables. We wouldn't do that in our own homes, would we? Even if we had a domestic helper, we would ensure that the mess is cleaned up immediately.

And when asked what is one area that could help Singapore make a big improvement in its graciousness index score?

Neighbourliness - While our findings are quite positive about the current state, we also see the desire for more neighbourliness, but some uncertainty, fear or awkwardness on how to get started. If we live in comfortable and positive neighbourhood environments, it will be just so much more pleasant for us. And we will take that positivity and pleasantness to other people in other shared public spaces.

The Graciousness Index has continued to move up, from 53 in 2013 to 55 in 2014, and to 61 in 2015. This year’s rise is led by a growing sense of positive perceptions about kindness and graciousness in Singapore, with respondents rating both themselves and others higher when it comes to being considerate, courteous and showing appreciation. Read more: http://kindness.sg/blog/2015/05/05/graciousness-index-shows-further-improvement/