Naughty teddy: A scene from Ted. Despite featuring a cuddly teddy bear, this is not a movie you should expose your kids to.
AFTER a hectic couple of weeks full of shows, I spent last weekend
celebrating friendships, both old and new. I had a massive BBQ party for
friends who had helped in preparing for the shows and projects to thank
them all for their support, friendship and big hearts. The party was
also a farewell of sorts for a wonderful and dear old friend of mine.
Due to my busy schedule, I’ve been missing out on much needed
quality time with the important people in my life. As with all parties,
not everyone was able to make it, but this didn’t prevent me from having
a blast. It was fantastic to see everyone enjoying themselves,
chatting, drinking and eating. Of course, saying farewell to my dear
friend was quite heart-wrenching, but we still managed to share many
laughs. Even my children enjoyed the evening playing with their old
friends and making new ones.
Aside from the usual party banter and gossip about people we knew,
lots of memories were relived; we caught up with current news and just
generally had fun. One topic that seemed to dominate the evening was how
fast our children were growing up. This got me wondering, whose fault
is it really? Is it because of the advanced technologies they are
exposed to these days ... or rather the fault of parents?
I have heard horrifying stories of under-aged children – sometimes
as young as 12! – who are having sex, often without protection, and
their parents are OK with this behaviour. Some European friends say this
is pretty common for them. In fact, research has shown that over the
past 50 years, the number of teenage girls who are sexually active has
quadrupled! Unfortunately, this kind of behaviour is no longer contained
within the West and becoming more rampant even here in Asia.
Personally, I cannot begin to understand this but it seems more people
have begun to accept that it is normal for teens to be sexually active.
A while back, I was watching a documentary about traditional
weddings, which highlighted arranged marriages involving children,
especially among minority tribes. This documentary shared the story of
four sisters who got married at the same time, the youngest of whom was
only four! According to some traditions, if a boy of that age isn’t
married yet, he will bring shame to his family. It’s sad to think that
this practice continues to exist in this day and age.
I know for a fact that my grandparents had an arranged marriage.
Grandma used to tell me how many of her friends back then were arranged
to be married even before they were born. But circumstances were
different then.
I guess in certain communities where marriage is seen as economic
security for girls, things are different. But in societies like ours,
where girls have every opportunity to create their own financial
security, children are still maturing too quickly. And I feel both
parents and technology have played a role.
Technology has become so accessible, allowing kids to be exposed to
sites they shouldn’t be viewing. And parents are not monitoring what
their children view online. I have even heard of parents watching
pornographic movies in the same room as their young children! Children
these days are smart and they learn fast.
They are also impressionable, and being exposed to this sort of film
would make them think this behaviour is acceptable and that it’s okay
for them to imitate it. Scary!
Even movies these days expose young children to unsuitable words and
images. Stories that seem innocent enough for young kids are often
laced with topics that are too mature for them. Take the movie Ted,
which was released not too long ago. I actually contemplated taking my
children to watch it because I was under the impression, from the
posters that I had seen, that it was simply about a young boy and his
teddy bear.
Luckily, I went online to check out the trailer and reviews. The
movie was full of obscenities and actions that I definitely would not
have wanted my young children to watch.
So, yes, in a way the Internet is great as it allows us to access
useful information so much easier and faster. However, if not used
properly, it can open Pandora’s box of elements we want to keep away
from our kids. I was told by a friend that even adding filters to
websites is not completely fool-proof. There seems to be no way around
this one – we are living in a very advanced world where all sorts of
data, including the unsavoury kind – have become very accessible. This
makes the world a very scary place indeed, especially in terms of young
children and teenagers.
Even TV channels, such as MTV, present girls in revealing clothes
and seductive dance. Too many little girls will therefore think that
dressing and behaving in that fashion is “cool”. It makes me sick when I
see so many girls these days acting much more mature than they are. I
also feel sorry for our children, the future leaders of our world, to
have been injected with such unnecessary images in their heads from such
a young age.
I’m not sure how we can help change this world to be a better place
for our children. It will definitely be a tough mission, but it’s vital
that we try anyway. We just have to be more cautious and keep a close
eye on our kids’ daily activities to protect them from negative
influences.
It’s important that we show them happy movies and stories, and
preserve their childhood for as long as possible. Childhood is the most
carefree and happy time they will ever have. Let’s not rob our children
of this wonderful, innocent experience.
It really is difficult being parents today, but we can only try.
Mel’s Place by MELINDA LOOI
Award-winning fashion designer Melinda Looi tries to marry
consumerism and materialism with environmental consciousness, and
believes her greatest creations are her children. Follow her on Facebook
or write in to
star2@thestar.com.my.